Distant Shore

January 8, 2008 - Posted by Marge- 0 Comments
And tonight once more
you drift away to follow your calling,
your destiny so deeply etched within the blood
 flowing through your veins
that you can’t keep away for long
 
And tonight once more
I stand here, waiting for your return;
Penelope to your Odysseus
a vigil instead of an adventure
watching with wistful longing as you
disappear into the horizon that feels like
a miniscule eternity every time
 
I try to corral my love for you in between
 the spaces during moments of your absence
spend more time loving you through
 memory and hope and faith
to keep me from drowning in this habitual silence
 
I fell in love with a wanderer
 so I must have seen this
 part of the territory
just as plainly as this fear–
always, always…
of the constant permanence
the greater distance you sail to chase your rainbows
you might begin to lose sight of the shore
and not look back


Floundering

October 15, 2007 - Posted by Marge- 0 Comments
black sea of bitter molasses
weighty clutch of velveteen claws
in the darkest part of night
that nameless hour where
no soul wants to be caught awake
a silent scream emanating from deep within
the caverns of elemental despondence
reverberating through the intricate tapestry
of omnipresent fear
subliminal to eyes wide open
sitting at my desk with the clock
ticking, ticking at 10:53 am and ever after
i am drowning


6750

June 12, 2007 - Posted by Marge- 0 Comments
This is where it all began:
 
unwinding after a long day of
tax policies, legal provisions
case studies, heartache
burdened down by the weight of notations
business books and the future
 
i set foot upon the threshold of this chic
over-commercialized coffee shop
a twenty-minute walk from campus
in the heart of the business district
 
mocha frappucino was the staple
a cozy little table overlooking the city
sharing stories, dreams, fears with friends
or with a trusted journal on rainy afternoons
 
armed with caffeine and cynicism
we radiated naivete, burgeoning idealism
impatiently waiting for our beautiful lives to begin
while leaning on the backs of plush velvet chairs
lulled by whirling blenders, rustling newspapers, muted chatter
creating a comforting cocoon sprinkled with cinnamon and jazz
 
five years later i return to this place with
lines on my face, shadows in my eyes
toting a sharper sense of cynicism and
a first-hand understanding of realism
i have set foot upon so many coffee shops since
but never have they felt like forgotten pockets of timelessness


Business Poetry

March 6, 2007 - Posted by Marge- 0 Comments
The sun is put to offended shame
by fluorescents piercing the misty sky
while a sea of humanity walks about
engrossed together but each alone
 
Tranquility is overshadowed by imposed pressure
as unspoken deadlines flutter in the passing wind
a fleeting warmth numbed cold by urgency
keeping in touch without nostalgia
every nerve tingles and comes alive
the entire body save for the heart
 
Silent, separate, anywhere but here
subconsciously longing for a distant memory
of dreams
hazy not vivid
of paintings
abstract not still
of a home
a field without concrete walls
of a life ruled by love and not currency
 
As the heart lives on
the body is standing still


Untitled

September 29, 2006 - Posted by Marge- 1 Comment
So this is how it is.
Feeling a lump in my throat as I
listen to your footsteps fade,
helpless at what to do
to help fix whatever is causing you pain.
 
Since you have chosen to walk away from my concerned
“Are you okay?” with nothing less than a sad smile,
maybe you feel it is not my place to offer comfort.
Yet the longing to is almost tangible in its ache,
far beyond the duty of friendship which is too
insulting to even utter in this case.
 
Unrequited love is truly
painfully exquisite in its beauty.
No matter how full my heart is
I can only sit here in this necessary silence
and hope it will be enough for you.


If I Want You That Much

September 27, 2006 - Posted by Marge- 0 Comments

I was sorting through my old journals over the weekend and found this inserted between some pages of one volume. This poem was written two years ago by a good friend of mine, a fellow writer from UST. I love him and his work, he is truly a soulful poet. I could only hope to be half as talented as he is. Smile  

 
If I want you that much
I would still be riding the train
Alone, not only across but also
 
beyond cities burning quietly
way past midnight
 
If I want you that much
there is nothing wrong with a young girl
walking along the length of an empty
 
shore, the wind more like any sad
song than just wind
that blows through her red
 
parka– a single rose petal
seen from underwater
like in a dream.
 
If I want you that much
I will hold the memory of your face
like a clean slate, close to mine,
and remember every single detail
like a flash of lightning:
the way only a hand
holding the head of a newborn
could possibly know what real silence means.
 
If I want you that much
I would have turned every doorknob
with too much anticipation
 
or marked every doorway
as if to resemble
a kind of waiting.
 
And yes, if I want you that much
it is only because I have no
intention to forgive you
lest you recall how this one song
ends, like any dialogue where one
is left never to answer back and always,
 
always at a time when the impatience
of raindrops hurry into a texture
like that of plain water, even
before it touches our hands.
 
- Allan Pastrana
 


Blanket of Stars

July 6, 2006 - Posted by Marge- 0 Comments

 

 

Distance has receded into inconsequence

tonight as I sit alone with my eyes closed, breath held

as though afraid any movement might

disjar even a tiny detail from memory.

We have but a few moments shared

words infused with a multitude of meaning

yet poignant longing, a desire so palpable

by itself could build a bridge spanning

the miles between us.

 

Memory moves in orbits of absence.

I find you in the midst of stillness

between the spaces of time

the abstract calligraphy written on the

surface of my heart

hidden from the cynical mediocrity

of a jaded world.

 

Somewhere I know you are there

breathing for us, and I, under this

blanket of stars, ethereal light

of night after night

In an elusive corner of a secret sky

I fly to you in dreams, conjuring

memories waiting to be created.